Gold plating is the tendency of our military services to
require expensive and unneeded fancy equipment added to nearly everything they
buy. For example, the WWII Jeep did the
job. After the war we civilians could
buy new Jeeps from the Jeep dealer for something like $3000. First thing they tried was the “airborne
Jeep”, made as light as possible to make it easier to parachute it from cargo
places. And it had the same swing rear
axle from the GM Corvair that Ralph Nader condemned. The troops rolled a lot of airborne jeeps
over, often killing them selves. And
parachuting the “airborne jeep” would smash it up making it look like a beer
can someone had stamped on. I remember
walking by the Aerial Port
where there was a long line of beat up jeeps.
They had been used to practice parachuting them. The old WWII jeeps looked dirty and battered
but they looked like they could be made to run again. The “airborne jeeps” were so bent out of
shape that I don’t think they were good for parts, let alone getting them to
run again.
And after the
“airborne jeep” faded out of memory, the services decided they needed something
a little bigger. They bought
HumVees. A new HumVee cost $60,000. So expensive that only Arnold Schwarzenegger
could afford one. A far cry from the
$3000 for a WWII Jeep (Jeep CJ).
Then we come to
USAF. I was maintenance officer in a
squadron of F106 fighters. Basically a
good fighter. Designed to shoot down
Russian nuclear bombers coming at us over the North Pole. It was fast, Mach 2, so it could catch
anything, good range, it could fly from Duluth Minnesota
to Tyndall AFB at the southern most tip of Florida
without air-to-air refueling, or making a fuel stop. It carried a big battery of missiles. The ones in my squadron were built in the
late 1950s and kept flying into the 1980s.
One big piece of
gold plate on the F106, the Tactical Situation Display (TSD). This was a 9-10 inch screen that was supposed
to display your position, and the target’s position, like that groovy display
in the Bond movie Gold Finger, the little display in the glove compartment that
showed Bond’s car and Oddjob’s car at once.
Trouble with the TSD was it was totally unreliable. Just the engine vibration from flying the
F106 would break it. We couldn’t get
replacement TSD’s, we couldn’t get parts to fix the broken TSD’s, and by the
time I joined the squadron the boys had given up on the TSD. When it broke they just left it in the
aircraft. What’s worse, the TSD didn’t
do anything that needed doing. The F106
had very powerful radar in its nose that would show targets out to 200
miles. It had voice radio to the ground
controllers who were more than happy to tell the pilot about the target’s
position, course, speed, and altitude.
Who needs a TSD with that kind of support?
Some things we could do.
All these gold plate boondoggles are made in Pentagon meetings. Mostly procurement paper pushers attend
them. We ought to require that
specifications for weapons systems be reviewed and if necessary vetoed by
operators, pilots, aircraft maintenance mechanics, submariners, navy officers,
and others who actually know something.
W should insist that the armed forces buy stuff off the
civilian market and not require (and get soaked for) a custom military only
design.