Luxury Hotels in DC

Well, after a $700 bill for a three night stay, it clearly thinks it's a luxury hotel.  It wasn't bad, but there were odd little lapses.  For instance, no exhaust fan in the bathroom.  Which gives the second person thru the bathroom a hot, steamy, smelly experience.  The bathroom tub was some new glossy material that was slippery as glass.  I had to clutch the crash bar to keep from falling in the tub.  The voice mail system didn't work.  The red "you-gotta-voice-mail" lamp in the phone just would not go out, no matter how many times you picked up your voice mail.  Plus, the voice mail I did pick up was just a long dial tone.  Better than heavy breathing I suppose, but not too useful.  No TV guide channel on the TV.  You have to channel surf to see what's on.  I mean my cheapy cable company at home manages a TV Guide channel, why not a luxury hotel?  And the security scare is getting ridiculous.  The elevator demands you insert your room key/card before it will move.  And the architect...  It's a plain boring concrete block.  Front entrance is smaller than the Au Bon Pain, or the Five Guys burger joint.  No decent sign on the roof.  You can drive right by and it's just one more concrete block building, nothing to make you think it's a hotel.  You walk in, and you have to ride the elevator to floor two to check in.  Which gives the hotel two lobbies.  If you tell someone to meet you in the lobby, you only have a 50-50 chance of getting connected.